《别样的碰碰车大战》

来自恶俗维基
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作者

张祥如

正文

  一天,仵沉蛋给我打来电话他说:“你敢不敢和我举行碰碰车大战”我豪爽的答应了:“我怎么不コ当然敢”,周日下午在xx路xx大厦举行,谁不来谁就是怂货。

  我原本以为我恐吓了徐延仵沉蛋,仵沉蛋应该躲在家,不敢找我,可正当这时,我听见了音乐声,原来是我手机响了,一看,竟然是仵沉蛋打来的电话,他还真有勇气,我接通了电话,听道电话那头骂道:“小废物,你怎么还不来,再不来你妈的泌尿系统就被我搞坏了。”我听到他对我的毒骂之后,我回骂道:“我要把你挂到同性恋网站上,帮你炒作一番,你说好不好啊。”

  他吓得没再回应我,可是到了周日,仵沉蛋竟然又给我打电话了,他还真要和我举行碰碰车大战,于是我按照约定,到达了xx大厦,可他早已等我已经等我很久了。

  第一回合,我占上风,他比不过我,到了第六回合,他就主动认输了。

  第二局,他开始占上风,我也不甘势弱,我们僵持了一百多个回合,我因为轻敌,被他击败了。

  从那时开始,我就不轻敌了,我认真研究他的套路,于是我总结出了一种方案。

  第二天,我们举行第三局,他使用祖传方案,对我发动掹烈的攻击,我们势均力敌,平分秋色,我们比了3个多小时,也没分出胜负。

  后来,他不知不觉的睡着了,我趁着这个好机会,一记凌车飘移,一飞冲天,打的他不敢还手,对他的打击比屠杀亲娘还大。

中译英

One day ,WUU Cherndann give me a call He said:“Do you dare to hold a bumper car fight with me”I saidreadily agreed:“Why wouldn't I daOf course I dare”,Sunday afternoon at the xx road xx building,Whoever doesn't come is a Coward.

I thought I threatened ​Xu YanWUU Cherndann, WUU Cherndann should be hiding at home,Dare not come out,But at this very moment,I hear musthe sound of music,Originally my phone was ringing,I look,It was WUU Cherndann on the phone,He's got a lot of nerve,I got through,And I heard revile on the other end of the phone:“Little loser,Why hadhaven't you come yet,If you don't come over, I'm gonna break Your mother's Urinary system.”After I heard his insults against me,I replied:“I put you on the Homo Website,Help you to publicize it,What do you say.”

​​He was too frightened to againanswer with me again,But on Sunday,I can't believe WUU Cherndann called me again,He's really gonna hold a bumper car fight with me,So I kept my end of the bargain,Arrived at the xx building,But he'salready here been waiting for me for a long time.

Round one,I have the upper hand,​He can't compete with me,By the sexsixth round,He just threw in the towertowel.​

​Second inning,He began to gain the upper hand,And I'm not gonna give in,We were deadlocked for over a hundred rounds,Because I underestimate the enemy,Was defeated by him.

​Since then,I won't underestimate the enemy,I conscientiously studied his Habit,So I came up with setanother plan. ​ ​The next day,We'll have the third inning,He used ancestral plan,To launch a feifcefeirce attack on me,We are evenly matched,Neck and neck,We played for more than 3 hours,And there's no winner. ​ ​Later,He drifted off to sleep,I took this opportunity,An Automobile DaifDrift,Fly to the sky,The attack left him unable to return fire,It Damages him more than murder his real mom.

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别样的碰碰车大战.jpg

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《别样的考试大战》

 一天,仵沉蛋给我打来电话他说:“你敢不敢和我举行碰碰车大战”我豪爽的拒绝了:“战个Ber,好好学习,不玩了。你敢不敢跟我举行考试大战,下周在xx楼xx考场举行,谁不来谁就是怂货。”

  我原本以为我恐吓了仵沉蛋,仵沉蛋应该躲在xx路xx大厦玩碰碰车,没有复习,可正当这时,我听见了音乐声,原来是我手机响了,一看,竟然是仵沉蛋打来的电话,他还真有勇气,我接通了电话,听道电话那头骂道:“小废物,你怎么还没复习完,再不复习完你妈的泌尿系统就被我搞坏了。”我听到他对我的毒骂之后,我回复道:“管他呢,搞坏就搞坏”

  他吓得再没再回应我,可是到了周日,仵沉蛋竟然又给我打电话了,他还真要和我举行考试大战,于是我按照约定,到达了xx考场,可他早已等我已经等我很久了。

  第一科,我占今上风,他比不过我,到了第六大题,他就主动认输了了。

  第二科,他开始占上风,我也不甘势弱,我们僵持了一百多个选择,我因为粗心,被他击败了。

  从那时开始,我就不粗心了,我认真研究错题,于是我总结出了一种答题方案。

  第二天,我们举行第三科,他使用祖传方案,对我发动猛烈的抄袭,我们势均力敌,平分秋色,我们考了3个多小时,也没分出胜负。

  后来,他不知不觉的睡着了,我趁着这个好机会,一记认真答题,成绩一飞冲天,打的他不敢还手,对他的打击比屠杀亲娘还大。

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